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Author Topic: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER (two versions)  (Read 753 times)

Offline Tooch

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THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER (two versions)
« on: April 14, 2010, 09:31:19 AM »
 THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER (two versions)
________________________________

OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter...

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away...

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!



MODERN
VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a
video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.


America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody
cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where the news stations film the group singing,We
shall overcome. Then Rev. Jeremiah
Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshoppers
sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames
President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the
Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that
the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair
share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home
is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given
to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends
finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government
house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't
maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is
taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous
and once peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE
STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

Offline Mitch

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Re: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER (two versions)
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2010, 10:40:08 AM »
I'd probably blame the pope too.
Jeep-less and grumpy.

Offline jps4jeep

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Re: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER (two versions)
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2010, 02:09:47 PM »
I'd probably blame the pope too.
how? the ant is not a priest and the grasshopper isn't an alter boy.
Dad always said "If it has boobs or spark plugs it will be fun AND will cause you problems."


 



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